Life has been pretty amazing this past week. I’ve come a really long way and I was on cloud 9 yesterday.
So, of course, I wake up at 3am anxious as fuck and not knowing why.
One of the breakthoughs that happened was genuinely giving myself credit for all I’ve done and putting my situation into perspective: THIS IS MY TIME TO HEAL. TAKE THE TIME TO REST WHEN YOU NEED TO.
And here I am, anxious. Sliding a little backwards on that thinking that I’ve come so far to understand.
On a mental level, I still get it. I keep breathing and I’m doing a pretty awesome job of partially calming myself down and working through this moment. (Another improvement, if I do say so myself!)
Anyway, even with my badass coping skills, I’m still teetering on the edge of panic. Slipping down and “back” to where I was.
(That honestly makes me giggle.. Kay. Moving on)
THE TRUTH is that there is no going back. I clearly have a little extra to go in giving myself space to relax and that’s fucking fine. So yeah, I might be in the throws of the symptoms of ohshitohshitohshit but I know it’s temporary. And I’m strong enough now to know it.
So I’ll be just fine, DAMNIT.