So I went to a fantastic book signing last night to support my friend and author C.B. Lee
Her new book, pictured above, is AH-MAY-ZING. You should totally buy a copy & find out how great it is. Like at your local bookstore or, you know, Amazon.
Normally walking into a situation where I only know 2 people (Lee, as well as another bookish friend who came with) I would have JUMPED at the chance to walk the room, ask everyone how they know Lee, had they read her other book and just really kicked ass on the shmoozing side of things.
That did not happen with me.
My friend did, however, and I am so happy she was able to make the connections she did.
It made me realize I’ve come a long way to be able to go to this event… And a little down that I’m not like that right now.
Thankfully I confessed to my friend about it (especially since I told her I needed to get out of the store before we left) and her understanding and… I dunno. Just being there helped me steer my thoughts towards the good bits.
I’m still having a bit of a pity party for myself at the moment, but honestly when you look as fabulous as I did that evening, what can I complain about?
That’s a terrible title, but whatever. I liked the book, and I kinda feel like the kids from that book.
Anyway, after that day I called up my therapist immediately and booked an appointment. She was able to see me today and one of the many reasons I love her is she’s honest as fuck. She’ll call me out on my shit and compliment me when I’m being too hard on myself.
Today I was not so happy with the honesty.
I mean, I knew in my heart it was coming and I’ve gotten to the point where I’m done living in the past. You see, my work anxiety and panic attacks are usually because I’ve been thinking or had to confront/ work through my feeling about a family member.
I’m not in a place to shout it out into the vast internet just yet, but I want to claim, shout, have a fucking parade for my feelings.
I’m ready to face my fears.
I’m ready to forgive.
I’m ready to be me.
There truly isn’t anything in the world that makes me happier then a good book and golly have I found it.
Gone away are the vicious “what ifs”, the trepidation of the unknown, and the rapid beating of my heart that so consumed me yesterday.
For once again I have temporarily found peace in a delicious book.
Out July 18, 2016, Imprudence (#2), is just as wild and fantastic as the first. I’m only less than 1/4 of the way through it but wheeeee!!!!
If it wasn’t apparent I’m a book nerd.
That is all.