Sometimes I read past posts and I cringe. I apparently repeat myself a lot, or simply post without really cimpleting a thought or… Point? Continuity is so not my thing. Neither is memory, really. Defense mechanism and all. Also I read A LOT so, really, I can only retain so much.
This post was kind of going to be a diatribe of how all day I wanted to take all that bravado back. I was so anxious all day and… It’s rough, you know? I had so many encounters with customers telling me I was so peppy and cheerful that it kept me going — even though all I wanted to do was hide under a rock and go LALALALALALA I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE NO MORE RESPONSIBILITIES I CAN’T TAKE IT.
But I could. And I did. I survived. Hell, I kind of flourished?
Recounting it has brought back some of the anxiety, but a few things happened that made me feel like my old self again.
I’m too nervous to say what did happen in case I jinx it or something, but I survived.
I… Did good today.