In Hiding

It’s a terrible feeling knowing that everything will be just dandy, yet feeling like every move you make is a bad one, or you won’t live up to expectations. 

I’m taking my brothers to Harry Potter World tomorrow and to be sure that’s where my anxiety lies. 

Not my brothers, not the actual outing — but making sure that I’M perfect, at least in the eyes of their mother. 

My brain tells me that if I’m not, I won’t be able to see my brothers again for a very long time. 

And the tasks to “make myself perfect” are long, and time consuming. Not to mention overwhelming as fuck. 

I know I’m spiraling, but I can’t seem to get my head out of the bullshit I’ve created for myself. 

Fucking therapy and self actualization and bettering myself. 


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