Prideful Moments

So I just spent a long while having a smaller attack where I tried every resource in my arsenal to avoid taking a Xanax. 

It got me thinking. 

Why would I willingly deny myself the ability to have a clearer mind? What am I getting out of living in fear just because I’ve already had 4 Xanax today? 

Shit’s been real hard for me lately so I have every reason to take the medicine provided to me. And you know what? I am way more level-headed during such a tumultuous and emotionally gutting time than I ever could have hoped for. 

I almost feel like myself again

(And you know that right there is super fucking empowering) 

So back to my point– fuck this stigma of being “drugged out” that I have in my head. Fuck anyone who says modern medicine is bad. Fuck the thinking that I just need to eat better and do xyz (honestly these are just all coming from my own head. Everyone around me is super supportive). I’m already on my super awesome path of amazingness and wellness. Shit doesn’t happen overnight, people (again, I’m mostly arguing with myself). 

So basically fuck you negative berating thoughts. I have better things to focus on, thank you very much. 

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