Tasks Behaving Badly

So my anxiety/ OCD is pretty crippling today. I’m wavering between keeping shit together and crumpling into a sniveling ball of tears. 

I’m trying to get ready for work and… And every move I make I feel like I’m making the worst mistake of my life. 

It doesn’t help that our area should be “on alert” to evacuate should the fire get too close to us. 

I’m currently hiding under my covers writing this post on my phone. 

Every small move I make: pulling out clothing from my drawer, touching the garage door so I can pull something out of my car, putting a clothing item into the hamper…. All these simple tasks have sent me scurrying back under my covers because my brain tells me I’ve just lit a fire and something atrocious is going to happen. 

It’s really fucking frustrating because I know on a logical level that I’m fine. My actions do good and not harm… But I’m not working or thinking on a logical level. 

So here I am trying my best– with medicinal help– to breathe. To turn my thoughts around. 

And I’m coming up empty. 

It’s bad, my doods. 

It’s bad. 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s