It’s times like these, very early in the morning, tired and awoken by trivialities, that I am at my worse.
It’s like all of the techniques that I’ve learned to calm myself, to shift my thinking are dulled when I don’t have all my faculties at night.
There’s also a strange sense of “safety” at play in the quiet darkness of night. I don’t have to “appear strong” to anyone and so my baser fears run wild.
If I should like a broken record with all this no-sleep-fears business it’s because I write to calm the thoughts. I use this blog to focus my thoughts when I can’t seem to handle it on my own.
Anyway, instead of falling blissfully back to bed like my poor body wishes, my brain concocted up a laundry list of to-dos I MUST do today and, honestly, I almost fucking convinced myself to start my day on 3 hours of sleep!
This is unacceptable, body! You hear me? UNACCEPTABLE!