Being Brave Is Hard

Welp. 

Today was the first day back at work in about a week. I got my meds adjusted a little but shit has really hit the big one. 

I’m delving in deep in therapy and this last session nearly had me jumping off the couch and running for the door. 

But it also has helped me with my thoughts and the way I talk to myself. 

It’s really easy for my brain to spin spin spin spin spin and berate myself for all the “wrongs” I’ve done, or other people not behaving / acting how they’re “supposed to.”

It’s not a magical change overnight. Today was really fucking tough. I still got worked up about customers or things out of place and my axiety was on high alert ALL DAY. 

Like, imagine being in fight or flight ALL THE TIME. 

Anyway, I had to take moments and list all the good things I’d done. Or switch it to a positive. 

Being brave and acting in spite of fear is really, really, really hard. 

But at least I’m doing it. 

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