Paralyzed 

Straight off the bat: this isn’t a cheery or light hearted post.

My anxiety is REALLY BAD today. Like, I called my work crying because I still can’t start my car because I’m paralyzed at a gas station. 

I’m still at the gas station, by the way. 

In my head the bad is out there and if I make a single wrong move something terrible is going to happen. Meanwhile, another part of my brain is making a list of all the things that *need* to get done with all that free time I carved out by calling out of work for the day. 

It’s… It’s as if I have something crushing my chest, pinning me to my car seat while my toes twitch and inch and attempt to remind me I am able, perfectly capable of driving. 

That I should drive. 

That I should be productive. 

That I should do ALL THE THINGS. 

Basically I’m in my own personal hell and it sucks the big one. 

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